Why is Everybody Scared of America?

by Jesse Shanks

Why is everybody scared of America?

Aren't we the land of the free?

What do they really think of us

Not our flag but you and me?

Do they think because we had slaves

That we want to enslave them?

Do they think because we slaughter our own

That we'll tear them limb from limb?

Well sure, we have democracy

I voted once, didn't you?

The choice was 'tween a pig and a swine

I wrote in "dog" it's true.

Well sure, we have hospitals

For ones who can pay the bill

And we have fine amusement parks

If you're bored and need a thrill

Yeah ok, we got "soshalscurity"

You pay your whole life to get it

Sure we want to outlaw guns

But we love 'em, c'mon admit it.

Well sure, we want to clean the filth

That our businessman has dumped

And the medical waste and chemical dust

Into the ocean we had pumped

And yeah we'll stop abortion

Our President says we must

But no condoms for our kids

They have to curb their lust

And hey ok, we've got the bomb

We used it only once, well twice

We'll promise not to do it again

But only if the world makes nice

Why do they resist our system

It's the best a dollar buys

Eat a burger, drink a pop and watch TV

Don't they want their own franchise?

Our leaders will never stop

"Til its all a huge Disneyland

An artificial world that imitates life

Just as Walt had planned

In the next election

You'll see what this poem meant

When you go to the voting booth

and make Mickey Mouse President

Why is everybody scared of America?

Aren't we the land of the free?

Mickey Mouse wouldn't nuke the earth

Would he?

M-I-C-K-E-Y -M-O-U-S-E